I coud not disagree more!!!!!!! If I ask you how you are doing, tell me. If someone has a doom and gloom response, then they are having a terrible day. They may need support - a kind word, an offer of help, an empathetic listener. If you are feeling vulnerable and someone else's 'doom and gloom' response will ruin your day, then don't ask. Simply nod as you pass or say, hello or good morning. I was pleased to see that others had a similar reaction to Justin's post:When someone asks how you are doing, please try to avoid the doom & gloom response.— Dr. Justin Tarte (@justintarte) August 29, 2018
Even if you’re having a rough day, please give at a minimum a neutral response.
The doom & gloom response makes the asker feel bad & all they are guilty of is trying to be nice.
Others wondered if this was a gendered response - are females taught to reply 'fine' when people ask how you are even though you aren't fine?Nope. Sorry. Pretty sure hiding struggles with neutral platitudes is not the answer. Relationships are born out of trust and truth. Even if "doom and gloom" I'd rather be transparent in how I am feeling, especially if the person asking is looking for a genuine answer.— Kendall Sewell (@_mssewell) August 29, 2018
What about you?
How are you?
how do you want people to respond when you ask them, "How are you?"
Me, I'm just fine. Thanks for asking.
UPDATE: I went out for a run this morning and by the time I got back and went to finish this post, Justin's original tweet was no longer available. Do you take tweets down when people seem to disagree with your post? Do you leave it up to engage in the conversation? (@dougpete, since your replies never seem to post onto my page, email me! I know you have thoughts on this!)
Thank you for the post, Lisa.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately my tweet didn't reflect what I was thinking at the time nor the message I was hoping to carry. As you know, this resulted in several educators voicing concern with the perceived notion of silencing those who are working through tough life situations. Please know this wasn't my intent, nor is my personal or professional practice.
At this time, as you noted above, I felt it was necessary to remove the tweet since I don't believe it accurately reflected the point I was hoping to make. This is my mistake of being too free with my words and the realities of each individual having a unique interpretation.
I am encouraged that this has spurred conversation and I hope we each take a small part of this experience to reflect and learn more about ourselves.