Self-Care for Writers

My teaching background is the elementary panel so I found this article, Self Care for Graduate Students when Time and Energy are Tight, by dissertation coach Kathryn Peterson about stress in the graduate program fascinating.

I recently completed my doctorate and published a book, and could relate to some of the points in her article. Although our doctorate program didn't have the 'publish or perish' pressures, I agree with the author that working on a long-term writing project is like running a marathon. Writing can be stressful. It can take a physical and mental toll on your body and your energy.

Stressors can include:

• biological stressors: so much sitting - aching shoulders, creaky joints
• cognitive stressors: researching, reading, synthesizing so many articles and so much data; putting it all together in a coherent fashion

• emotional stressors: the review process.  You submit something you think is pretty darn good and it comes back with so many suggestions for revisions, and questions. It can feel a bit like a personal attack when someone 'attacks' your writing.

• prosocial and social stressors: the enormous amount of time and energy spent on a long-term writing project means less time for family and community. 

One of her suggestions is to write down five easy, low cost, short-term ideas for self-care on an index card and keep them in your bag or post them on a whiteboard in your workspace.  Then use them to restore balance and recharge energy when your tension is high and your energy is low.

Some suggestions for low cost, short term self-care include: a hot cup of tea, a walk outdoors, playing with a pet, holding hands with a loved one, reading a chapter in a non-work related book. 

I like the idea of having those strategies for refilling your energy tank posted on a whiteboard or written on an index card and carried in your bag.  When energy is low, it is so easy to revert to old habits like junk food, energy drinks, and mindless screen time. Having a strategy card readily at hand may help me to choose healthy strategies for restoring energy when my tank is low!

Empty fuel tank gauge image from: vectorstock.com/2807186

Beyond Behaviour Charts

In my work as a consultant, I wish I had thought of using a behaviour chart like this with educators.  What better way for them to see and feel the impact that this approach can have on student engagement and motivation. Imagine if at your next staff meeting your administrator called you out in front of all of your colleagues and made you move your clip for scrolling through email on your cell phone, digging through your purse, or talking to the educator seated next to you.  And imagine how much more upset you'd be if your transgressions were actually work related - checking email for a field trip confirmation, looking for a pen to write notes during the meeting, talking to your colleague about the meeting content!

Behaviour charts do not help educators to determine the underlying causes of behaviour.  Instead of dealing with the problem, we are only reacting to the symptom.  If we don't address the cause, the 'problem behaviour' is most likely going to continue to happen.  So the child who is rummaging through their desk when the teacher is teaching a lesson - maybe they are looking for a pencil because it helps them to remember instructions if they write them down, maybe they need a fidget toy in their hands to help them listen - we'll never know if we don't ask.

And while behaviour charts may shame students into compliance, they do not help students to develop skills they need to be successful in school and life, like self-regulation.  Often, instead of focusing on the behaviour, the use of behaviour charts focuses on the child. The child who is frequently moving their stick into yellow or red is seen by their classmates and, often in their own mind, as 'the bad kid.'  

See Aviva Dunsiger's great blog post on this idea: When and How Do Perceptions Matter?

For the child who is seldom asked to move their clip, having to do so can impact their learning for the rest of the day.

So what can educators do instead of using behaviour charts?

• when thinking about student behaviour, ask 'why and why now?'  All behaviour is communication, so what is the student telling us with this behaviour? 
• reframe behaviour: Is this stress behaviour or misbehaviour?
• keep conversations about behaviours private, when possible
• build community in the classroom rather than compliance. A great resource for this is Beyond Discipline: From Compliance to Community by Alfie Kohn or the articles listed below
• help students to develop skills of self-regulation in age appropriate ways. What does calm feel like? How does being calm help them learn? What helps them to feel calm? What are classroom appropriate ways that they can use to manage their energy states, emotions, behaviour and attention in ways that are socially acceptable in the school and classroom context?
• read and reflect on our own practice.  

Here are some articles that discuss why to remove behaviour charts as well some alternatives to use instead. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments or to send them to me in a DM. 

Tear Down Your Behaviour Chart by L. Jung and D. Smith, Educational Leadership, September 2018

Hey Teachers, Stop Using Behaviour Charts. Here's Why from PBS

Death to the Behaviour Chart! 3 Reasons to Resist the Lure of Punishments and Rewards - Education Week Teacher

5 Reasons I'm Against Behaviour Charts (What I Do Instead) from WeAreTeachers.com

When Behaviour Charts Don't Work, Throw Them Out from Edutopia

Step Away From The Stickers - a previous blog post I wrote for the MEHRIT Centre

NOTE: Jon's original tweet generated a lot of discussion on Twitter and, if you follow him, you can see the responses he posted to clarify his Tweet.  His post, and my blog, are not meant to blame and shame teachers but to prompt educators to reflect on what we do, why we do it, and the impact our actions may have on our students. 

The Importance of Risky Play for All Students

"Bravery is learned, and like anything learned, it needs to be practiced."
                 Caroline Paul


I saw this brief video clip of Caroline Paul, former firefighter and now best-selling author, on Facebook recently and was thinking about another post I had seen about the importance of risky play for children.

(Text of this sign: 

Risk & Play: When you take a risk, your brain changes. Do you remember climbing to the top of a tree? Or swinging as fast as you could until you felt like you might fall off? These risks are more than fun - they help brains develop. Risky play combines fun and stress - turbo-charging brain development.

It can be stressful to climb to the top of the tower if you haven't done it before but learning to handle that stress will make you more resilient under future pressures.

Risky play develops your executive function, the parts of your brain in charge of decision-making. Deciding whether or not to jump off something tests the limits of your judgement. The only way to learn to make good decisions is by practicing making decisions.

Bumps and scares are the vivid feedback you need to improve your judgement. Thankfully, you'll get better and your brain will have developed from the experience).

Risky play does not mean that we are putting children in danger. It means we are allowing them to push themselves and feel a bit of fear, and then overcome that fear. To climb, to jump, to hang upside down, to run so fast it feels like you might fall over, to swing so high that it feels like you just might go right over the top of the swing set!

Do we socialize our girls to avoid risk while encouraging boys to engage in risky play? What lessons are our students taking from our messages around risky play?

The full video of Caroline's TED Talk can be viewed below:

As educators, we need to be mindful - do we provide opportunities for girls and boys to engage in risky, physical play?  We want to ensure that all students will be resilient, confident risk-takers.

For more research on this topic, check out these online books and articles:

The Overprotected Kid - The Atlantic

No Fear - Growing up in a risk aversive society by Tim Gill

Is it our fears that are stopping kids? - Aviva Dunsiger

Shopping at Sephora: Stressor or So Much Fun?

We talk a lot in self-reg about how what is stressful for one person may not be stressful for another person. My shopping excursion this afternoon was a perfect example.

I have two daughters.
Eldest daughter, 28 years old (D28) loves to shop. Clothes, shoes, purses, makeup, housewares, whatever. She loves to shop and she's good at it. She has can walk into any store and zero in on great deals and beautiful items instantly.

Youngest daughter, 26 years old (D26) doesn't like shopping unless necessary. When she was a kid (and sometimes even now) she'd say, "just hold it up to me. It probably fits."

I'm somewhere in the middle.  I don't like shopping but will go if I have to. I'll try clothes on in two or three stores and then I start to lose energy and enthusiasm.

For the past many years I've been wearing the same makeup. When I run out, I just buy the exact same thing. I knew it was time for something new, so when D26 and I were on a trip to Tokyo in April, I threw out my almost worn out eyeshadow and vowed to buy something new when I got home.

Then I procrastinated. I don't want to shop for makeup. Since I'm retired and don't go out much, I got away with it. But I have D26's graduation this week and a birthday celebration next week so today I decided to buy makeup. And I went to Sephora for the first time.  Oh My Gosh.  So much make up.

I texted my girls.

And that's when I made the self-reg connection.  One finds shopping stressful; one finds it pleasurable.

At this point, I decide to reduce my stress by narrowing the selection down to one brand, Sephora, and finding a salesperson to help me.  While she's talking to me, my cell phone is constantly pinging as D28 excitedly texts me with suggestions.  If she didn't work so many hours, I definitely would have brought her with me. Luckily the salesperson was very sweet and helpful.  In my head, I'm convinced she was thinking, "It's just eye shadow. Pick one already. You're still going to look old." But she patiently showed me about six different shades, all on her hand. I'm not going to wear it on my hand, but I didn't want to seem ungrateful so I just kept nodding.

This is probably the highlight of D28's day or at least a fun break from work.  I chose two fairly neutral colours (Romantic Comedy and Lucky Penny, FYI), paid for my purchase and got out. I guess this counts as a successful shopping trip. I didn't walk out and leave the store empty-handed. I got what I needed. But this is definitely more stress than fun for me. Next time, I'll just send D28 to shop for me. She'll love it! 

As teachers, we need to consider that what is fun for one student may be stressful for others - gym class, assemblies, field trips, special events.  If someone complains that the noise level is too loud and it is creating stress for them, then it is creating stress for them even if you may find the noise level not a stress at all.  Each of us is unique and our stressors are unique too.  

This is then further complicated by the reality that what is stressful one day when we have a lot of other stressors in our lives, may not be stressful on another day and vice versa.  As a parent or a teacher, this can be frustrating when what was an enjoyable activity one day is now stressful another day. Going back to my Sephora shopping trip, if I had already had to deal with a number of stressors on the day of my shopping trip, I would have probably just walked out of the store and had to return another day. 

Bullet Journals

Have you seen all the bullet journals on Pinterest, Instagram and blog sites?  I've been searching for a better way to organize all my to do lists, calendar events, shopping lists and mental notes. When I worked full time I was pretty efficient at using my electronic calendar to track where I needed to be and what I was supposed to be doing.  I had a notebook that I kept my to do list in and I would cross out each item in highlighter once it was completed. That way I knew it was done, but I could still see what was on the list.

Since retiring, I have not had an efficient system to track all the stuff I've got going on.  I've got a gratitude jar where I write gratitudes and good news with the intention of rereading them on New Year's Eve. I've got a calendar on the fridge as well as the calendar on my iPhone to track events.  I have a list app on my phone to share lists with my husband including a grocery list, a list of house projects and a list of things we want to plant in the garden. On Facebook, I've saved posts where people have shared books that I think I'd like to read. My Fitbit tracks my steps for me. And in my head, are all kinds of other lists and things - exercise, diet, places I want to visit, restaurants and recipes I want to try, and on and on.  Needless to say, having lists and ideas in so many different places is not working.

Recently, I stumbled upon bullet journals or bujo.  They seemed like a good idea - one place to keep track of everything.  They were originally developed by Ryder Carroll and you can visit his website at bulletjournal.com  There's even a bullet journal app available now.

Some of the bullet journals on Pinterest and Instagram are works of art!  Everything is written in fancy script. People add watercolour illustrations, detailed borders, colourful doodles and it's all a bit overwhelming.

Some inspiration from chasingfoxes.com 

I don't think my bullet journal is going to be a work of art. But hopefully it will be a helpful tool for keeping all of my lists in one place.  Tomorrow is the first day of June so a new month is a perfect tie to start a new project. I find writing to be very relaxing. It helps me reduce stress and relax so I think the bullet journal will be a good self-reg practice. I can reflect at the end of each day as I journal.

Are you using a bullet journal? How is it working for you? Or are you using another method or planner to keep track of your lists? What are you using?

Some bullet journal inspiration sites:

Pencilling it in - Bullet Journals 101

9 Bullet Journal Ideas That'll Organize Your Entire Life

How to Start a Bullet Journal

5 Essential Bullet Journal Pages

Self-Reg and Aging

While I began my self-reg journey from the perspective of an educator, thinking about how self-reg could help students to achieve their fullest potential, I quickly realized that self-reg begins with the self - with me and my own self-regulation. Yesterday, I used self-reg from the perspective of a daughter during a visit to my dad.

Last week, my husband took a week off from work and we spent the entire week in London getting his condo ready to sell.  He lived in it for a few years when he was working in the city, then he had tenants in it for a few years and, for the past three years our girls have lived in it while they attended post-secondary school.  Like most renovations, it is taking longer than we anticipated and we are doing most of the work ourselves - ripping out carpeting, installing laminate floors, removing panelling in the basement and putting up dry wall. Needless to say, there were lots of stressors as we worked together on this project each day and then collapsed into bed each night.

At our own home, we are still returning to normal after a flood while I was away on vacation two weeks ago. The interior of our home is fine, but the garage is filled with all of the seasonal decorations that were salvaged and scrubbed clean after the crawlspace beneath the house filled with lake water. Unfortunately, there was also the emotional stress of losing many holiday decorations - my grandmother's ornaments that hung on her tree and now ours, decorations the girls had made when they were younger, ornaments that we had picked up on our travels - all were ruined and discarded.

I usually go to visit my dad twice a week to help with his banking, run personal errands and just chat about what's happening with folks we know. My dad is dealing with his own stressors that come with aging. He decided to move to a retirement home last fall, and while he chose a lovely place, it's not the same as being at home. The challenges of having to be dependent on others for so many things, especially since he decided to stop driving last fall. He still reels from the loss of my mom (12 years younger and always so much healthier than him), and the physical challenges of aging.

Yesterday as I was preparing to leave, I knew that I had to stop for a moment and restore some of my own calmness.  If I was to bring all the stress and tension I was carrying with me to my visit with him, it would only add to the stress and tension he is already feeling.  By making a conscious effort to approach this visit with compassion and empathy, as well as taking the time to return to a place on the Thayer Matrix of less tension and more energy, I was able to arrive at his retirement home relaxed and calm - even after encountering 3 different construction projects on the road during my short drive!

As an educator and a consultant, I used this same tool. Whether heading into a classroom of kindergarten children or an auditorium of educators gathered for a professional learning session, I needed to take time to reflect on my own energy and tension before beginning my work with others.

Just as I was about to post this blog on Twitter, I saw that Stuart Shanker has shared this quote:

And I responded:

And in another instance of serendipity, I found Nancy Niessen's blog post: Reframing is Ageless yesterday when I was reflecting on this link with self-regulation and my dad.

Stress reducing strategies & thinking about positive stress

We were challenged to visually share what we have learned about dealing with stress through self-regulation, and I created two photo collages using online images and PicCollage.  In the first collage are strategies I used to deal with stress before I started this self-reg journey. Often at work, around 2 in the afternoon, I found myself heading upstairs to the vending machine to get a Diet Coke and some junk food to help me power through the afternoon when I was feeling physically and mentally exhausted.  When I got home, I would often mindlessly watch TV and cruise social media, and/or look forward to one (or several) glasses of red wine to relax. 

After starting this self-reg journey, I have healthier ways to deal with stress.  One of my go-to stress relievers is exercise and this is a good example, I think, of the positive stress that Stuart Shanker and Susan Hopkins talk about in some of the MEHRIT centre videos and programs.  I run a half marathon each fall as a motivator to stick with my running program.  I could run 5K a few times a week and that would still be a bonus for my health and help me reduce stress.  But I find the positive stress of setting this big culminating exercise goal is exciting at the same time as it is scary.  I create a 16 week training plan, make sure I'm eating healthy, do my exercises to keep all my joints healthy, and so on.  On race day, I'll be nervous right up until I cross the start line and then, as crazy as it sounds to anyone who's never done it, it's actually FUN!  The last 5K are usually the longest but crossing the finish line and achieving a goal I had to work so hard for make it all worth it. Every year I say I'm never going to do it again.  And then, on New Year's Eve there is a discount for early registration and I find myself signing up for another year!  This year I'm running with my youngest daughter (her first half marathon) and my husband, which makes it even more fun.

When we are talking about stress with parents and students, we need to ensure that we talk about positive stress so that we can counter the image of stress in popular culture where stress is always bad.

Other strategies I use now include taking a walk break when I've been at my desk too long and getting some fresh air, eating more healthy foods and less junk food and setting priorities and then focusing on what's important.  (still red wine and some junk food but in moderation!)  

Before self-reg: Diet coke; junk food; red wine and mindless screen time; 

After self-reg: Exercise; fresh air; eating healthy foods; prioritizing tasks 

Photo credits:

Diet coke - onlinecashandcarry.com

Vending machine - costco.ca

Watching TV - shutter stock photo

Red wine - pinterest.com

Exercise - watchfit.com

Fresh air - shutter stock.com

Eating healthy - food.ndtv.co

Prioritize - process.st

My Top 10 No Cost Stress Reducers

For our self-regulation course at the MEHRIT centre we were recently challenged to create a top ten list of our favourite no-cost stress reducers.  Here's my list.  Please share your list on Twitter and tag me @lisacran.  Thanks!

• Exercise – whether it’s going for a run or doing some heavy work in the yard (two days ago I tore out the flagstone path) I find that physical work gives me a much needed break from the mental stress of studying, reading and writing
• Eating healthy – my husband travels frequently for work and is usually gone for two weeks at a time.  I’m not always motivated to make healthy meals for just me but after a few days of poor meals I feel lethargic.  Eating healthy is an easy way to reduce biological stressors for me. And if I am hungry I am very cranky and miserable so eating healthy will reduce stressors for people who have to deal with me.
• Fresh air – getting outside, breathing the fresh air, and focusing on slowing down my breathing. When I was working at the board office, a group of us in the program department decided we would take a 15 minute walking break each morning and afternoon.  It didn’t always happen, but usually someone would do a quick walk around the office around 10 and 2 asking who was going for a walk. Otherwise it was easy to spend the whole day in your office!
• Listening to the waves – we recently moved to our ‘retirement home’ on Lake Erie. Opening the door and listening to the waves helps me to relax
• Birds – usually watching the birds at the birdfeeder, especially the little hummingbirds, is quite destressing but right now the blue jay is screaming for breakfast
• Campfires – there’s a firepit at our new home.  Sitting outside in the evening, listening to the water and watching the fire is free destressor.  No checking emails, reading articles at the campfire.
• Drink more water -  At work, I used to keep a refillable water bottle on my desk and drink two bottles of water each day.  When I retired, I got out of that habit and found I was often dehydrated.
• Be social - Our new home is on a private, unpaved road and many of the homes here are summer homes/cottages so it would be easy to isolate yourself out here.  I make an effort to visit with the neighbours beside me each day and I’m looking into signing up for a book club at the local library. Otherwise, with John travelling for work, I can see how it might get very lonely out here in the winter.
• Prioritize and focus – this is hard for me.  If I’m working on my doctorate then I feel like I’m not spending enough time on the house and my family and this course. If I’m spending lots of time with my family then I feel like I’m falling behind with my coursework. It’s an ongoing battle to remind myself to focus on what I’m doing instead of being distracted thinking about other things I could/should be doing.
• Self-talk –  I use self-talk to encourage myself to focus, and to remind myself to use the other strategies listed here.

Kindness - It Starts with Us

I've seen this image, and versions of it, all over social media lately:

But  here's the thing.  As parents, as teachers we have to show our students how to be kind not just tell them.  If we want our kids, our students to sit with the lonely kid in the cafeteria, then we have to do that ourselves.

As an itinerant teacher for several years, I was at a different school each day.  I also worked as a supply teacher for a year.

There were some schools I went to where I felt like the lonely kid in the cafeteria.  At one school, no one ate in the staff room.  Just me.  I had no idea where everyone else was, but I sat at the table in this HUGE room all by myself and ate my lunch.

At another school, it was like high school all over again.  The male staff sat together in one area of the staff room. Primary teachers sat at another table.  Everyone had their clique and I remember how anxious I felt as I wondered where I should sit.  No one invited me to join them, so I sat down and hoped I wouldn't be asked to move.  Don't laugh; I've seen teachers tell itinerants and occasional teachers to move because 'that's my spot.'

One itinerant teacher told me about when she was invited to attend a staff meeting at a school where she felt she had a good relationship with the staff.  She arrived early and sat at a table.  Slowly teachers arrived and begin to fill the tables around her.  Eventually the tables were all full, except hers.  She still sat alone. The next teacher to arrive approached her and asked, "Is this seat taken?"  She smiled and replied, "No," thinking that the teacher would sit down and join her.  Instead, the teacher took the chair and moved it so she could sit at another table.

Don't get me wrong, staff at many schools were warm and welcoming.  They invited me to join in their lunch groups and included me in their conversations. One school emailed me ahead of time to let me know that they were having a special teacher appreciation luncheon when I would be there for my next visit so 'don't bring a lunch because you're welcome to join us.' How nice is that!!!!

So if you say that you care less about whether kids are academically gifted and more about whether they sit with the lonely kid in the cafeteria, then be the teacher who welcomes the newbie to the staff room - the supply teacher, the itinerant, the new custodian, the secretary who is just here for a day, the high school, college or university student on placement.  As Gandhi  said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

Recognizing Stressors

We've been learning about how to be stress detectives in our MEHRIT Centre course - digging deeper to find those hidden stressors that are impacting our limbic system even though our Prefrontal Cortex may not even notice.  Hidden stressors can be things like lights, noise and even junk food.

I revised my original popplet to show my learning over the last few weeks (It's easier to see on the link!)

When I posted the original popplet on my blog, it was such a small post I wondered if it was even worth sharing yet it has generated some interesting discussions.  Doug Peterson and Stephen Hurley featured it as one the blogs from Ontario Educators on their podcast at VoicEdRadio.

Doug posted a comment about it on his feature This Week InOntario Edublogs 

In the category of better late than never, comes this post from Lisa Cranston.  In full disclosure, Lisa and I worked together for years, and one of the greatest groups that I had a chance to be part of was our Early Years Technology group.  I learned so much from my colleagues in that group and, when the topic came to visual mindmapping, I thought that I contributed back by showing how to brainstorm and share thoughts visually with our use of the SMARTBoard, SMART Ideas and other applications.

Well, it turns out that I wasn’t all that effective!

 I responded to Doug, but for some reason it didn't show up on his blog. Anyway, I absolutely love using graphic organizers with students and we used lots of them in the Early Years Technology group he spoke of - venn diagrams, T-charts, webs and more.  But I didn't use them as a tool for my own learning. I tended to use lists and maybe a table. But an assignment for my doctoral work required us to create a mind map for our final paper and, after much grumbling and complaining, I found I really liked it. I used iMindMap for my proposal and I've gone back to that mind map multiple times for assignments since then.  

I guess what's good for the students is good for the teacher!

Recognizing Stressors - A Beginning

In our self-reg course, we are beginning to learn more about recognizing stressors in all five domains. We are becoming stress detectives. I've created this popplet to use when charting my learning about recognizing stressors and will add to it as my knowledge and understanding grows. Using mind maps and other graphic organizers is a new strategy for me as a learner, even though I often used them with my students. I'm excited to see how this strategy will support my thinking.

A related post I wrote about exploring mind map software: Exploring MindMaps