Shopping at Sephora: Stressor or So Much Fun?

We talk a lot in self-reg about how what is stressful for one person may not be stressful for another person. My shopping excursion this afternoon was a perfect example.

I have two daughters.
Eldest daughter, 28 years old (D28) loves to shop. Clothes, shoes, purses, makeup, housewares, whatever. She loves to shop and she's good at it. She has can walk into any store and zero in on great deals and beautiful items instantly.

Youngest daughter, 26 years old (D26) doesn't like shopping unless necessary. When she was a kid (and sometimes even now) she'd say, "just hold it up to me. It probably fits."

I'm somewhere in the middle.  I don't like shopping but will go if I have to. I'll try clothes on in two or three stores and then I start to lose energy and enthusiasm.

For the past many years I've been wearing the same makeup. When I run out, I just buy the exact same thing. I knew it was time for something new, so when D26 and I were on a trip to Tokyo in April, I threw out my almost worn out eyeshadow and vowed to buy something new when I got home.

Then I procrastinated. I don't want to shop for makeup. Since I'm retired and don't go out much, I got away with it. But I have D26's graduation this week and a birthday celebration next week so today I decided to buy makeup. And I went to Sephora for the first time.  Oh My Gosh.  So much make up.

I texted my girls.

And that's when I made the self-reg connection.  One finds shopping stressful; one finds it pleasurable.

At this point, I decide to reduce my stress by narrowing the selection down to one brand, Sephora, and finding a salesperson to help me.  While she's talking to me, my cell phone is constantly pinging as D28 excitedly texts me with suggestions.  If she didn't work so many hours, I definitely would have brought her with me. Luckily the salesperson was very sweet and helpful.  In my head, I'm convinced she was thinking, "It's just eye shadow. Pick one already. You're still going to look old." But she patiently showed me about six different shades, all on her hand. I'm not going to wear it on my hand, but I didn't want to seem ungrateful so I just kept nodding.

This is probably the highlight of D28's day or at least a fun break from work.  I chose two fairly neutral colours (Romantic Comedy and Lucky Penny, FYI), paid for my purchase and got out. I guess this counts as a successful shopping trip. I didn't walk out and leave the store empty-handed. I got what I needed. But this is definitely more stress than fun for me. Next time, I'll just send D28 to shop for me. She'll love it! 

As teachers, we need to consider that what is fun for one student may be stressful for others - gym class, assemblies, field trips, special events.  If someone complains that the noise level is too loud and it is creating stress for them, then it is creating stress for them even if you may find the noise level not a stress at all.  Each of us is unique and our stressors are unique too.  

This is then further complicated by the reality that what is stressful one day when we have a lot of other stressors in our lives, may not be stressful on another day and vice versa.  As a parent or a teacher, this can be frustrating when what was an enjoyable activity one day is now stressful another day. Going back to my Sephora shopping trip, if I had already had to deal with a number of stressors on the day of my shopping trip, I would have probably just walked out of the store and had to return another day.