The First Follower

Often when people learn about self-regulation, they begin this journey with a goal of helping others – students in their class, their own children – but what ends up happening is that self-reg impacts their own life as well. When we start to see others with soft eyes, we turn that same lens on ourselves.  Instead of chastising our own lack of self-control and willpower, we ask ourselves “Why this behaviour and why now?”

And once we realize what a profound impact self-regulation is having on our lives and our relationships with others, we want to share self-reg with everyone!!! Principals want to share it with their staff, teachers want to share it with colleagues and parents want to share it with other parents.

At the Self-Regulation Summer Symposium, Catherin Lethbridge spoke about this during her presentation: “From a single tweet to system-wide implementation….lessons learned.”  In her work as a school administrator, she fundamentally believed that the well-being of students is directly linked to the well-being of the adults in the building. She knew that if self-regulation was to take hold in her school (and later across the entire district) that she had to begin with the adults. Adults are the ones who help students by co-regulating, and you can’t help someone else if you are dysregulated yourself.

But she also knew that to shift the paradigm from behaviour management to self-regulation, she had to issue an invitation, not a demand. She believed that this type of paradigm shift would occur, not as the result of a top-down mandate, but by creating a group of people who willing to join in the learning.

Catherin shared this video of The First Follower: Leadership Lessons from Dancing Guy to illustrate her point:

As a leader who is looking to share a vision, whether that vision is self-regulation, inquiry based learning, or some other shift in thinking and practice, we don’t need management to mandate everyone on board.  Mandates often lead to superficial implementation, not long-lasting, deep implementation. We need to create invitations and find those first followers, who will then help to create a space where others feel safe to join.

When our board introduced Interactive White Boards many years ago, we began with four primary teachers who didn't have a lot of technology experience but who accepted an invitation to be part of this project. Initially they received support from Doug Peterson, myself and other members of our program department, but quickly they took ownership of their own professional learning. Just like the self-reg learners, these four teachers, our first followers, became advocates and started offering workshops in our board and across the region to share their enthusiasm about IWBs as a powerful teaching and learning tool.

Think about your vision for change. Who are the people inside and outside of your school, your community or your organization?  How are they engaged in the work? Might some of them be your first followers?

Children Full of Life, Full of Emotions

In our self-reg course, we were watching and discussing a documentary about a class in Japan, Children Full of Life. In this fourth grade classroom, children are encouraged to share their stories through journalling, and the class becomes a supportive community. This is demonstrated when one child shares a journal entry after returning to school following the death of his grandmother.  This prompts another child to share her feelings about her father's death, three years before. The teacher and the students support both children as they deal with their grief and loss. Eventually the young girl is able to move beyond sharing her grief and begins to share happy memories of her father as well.  The teacher says, "When people really listen, they live in your heart forever."

It made me think back to my own experiences when I was going to school and other classrooms I've observed where, if a child was having a painfully emotional moment, we would excuse them, maybe take them aside or out into the hall to talk with them privately, or send them down to chat with a counsellor.  Once they were settled down, then they would return to class.

What message might that be sending to children?  Are we teaching them that strong emotions don't belong in the classroom? That if you are feeling strong emotions, you should do that in private, not in a public space like a classroom? Perhaps we've been inadvertently teaching children that it's not okay to share your emotions, that the classroom isn't a space for that. But what better space than one where you are surrounded by caring peers and a caring adult?

How do you deal with children's strong emotions in the class?

Description of Children Full of Life from YouTube:
"In the award-winning documentary Children Full of Life, a fourth-grade class in a primary school in Kanazawa, northwest of Tokyo, learn lessons about compassion from their homeroom teacher, Toshiro Kanamori. He instructs each to write their true inner feelings in a letter, and read it aloud in front of the class. By sharing their lives, the children begin to realize the importance of caring for their classmates."

Self-Regulation Summer Symposium Learning - Red Brain/Blue Brain

This week, I attended the 4th Annual Self-Regulation Summer Symposium.  I want to blog about all my learning but there is TOO MUCH!!!!!!  In today's blog post, I'm sharing some new learning for me about the triune brain.

Red brain/Blue Brain

Self-regulation is based on brain science and a simplified version of this is the idea of red brain/blue brain.  Blue brain is when the prefrontal cortex is engaged and 'running the show.' We are rational, calm, able to think logically and communicate with others. But, when we are stressed, we may switch into red brain. In red brain, the limbic system takes over and we are in fight or flight.  In red brain, we are no longer able to think carefully and consider our actions; are actions are driven by primitive survival instincts.

But here was the new learning for me this past week.  When we are in red brain, those around us can drive us in one of two directions.  We can move into intense negative emotions like fear and anger.  Imagine a Trump rally with cries of "Lock her up" and "Build that wall."

Or we can move into intense positive emotions like love and joy. The example Dr. Shanker shared was of Robert Kennedy addressing a crowd in Indianapolis. As RFK was to begin his speech, he learned that Martin Luther King had just been assassinated.  He informed the crowd of the assassination, and in the audio of his speech, you can hear their gasps of shock and horror.  It would have been easy for someone to take that moment and push the entire crowd into red brain, violence and anger.  Instead, he speaks in soothing tones and tells the crowd, "What we need in the United States is not division, what we need in the United States is not hatred, what we need in the United States is not violence and lawlessness, but is love and wisdom and compassion toward one another, a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or whether they be black.......Let us say a prayer for our country and for our people."

So many of the people we work with or meet each day - students, parents, neighbours, strangers - are stressed and could easily be pushed into red brain and anger. How can we help to soothe them, to make them feel safe in our classroom, our school, our neighbourhood?  Here are a few of my suggestions:

• signs welcoming students, parents and visitors to your building and your classroom
• student ambassadors to give parents and visitors tours of the building
• a welcome package for any new student who joins your class throughout the school year
• for new staff - a welcome package with info about the school and the community, an assigned teacher mentor to answer questions about the school and the culture (where do you get supplies, who coaches which teams, etc)
• making sure all support staff are included in staff lists, newsletters, special events. 
• having welcome signs, school newsletters, library books and other resources available in the languages which reflect the diverse community your school represents

Feel free to add more suggestions in the comments.

Shopping at Sephora: Stressor or So Much Fun?

We talk a lot in self-reg about how what is stressful for one person may not be stressful for another person. My shopping excursion this afternoon was a perfect example.

I have two daughters.
Eldest daughter, 28 years old (D28) loves to shop. Clothes, shoes, purses, makeup, housewares, whatever. She loves to shop and she's good at it. She has can walk into any store and zero in on great deals and beautiful items instantly.

Youngest daughter, 26 years old (D26) doesn't like shopping unless necessary. When she was a kid (and sometimes even now) she'd say, "just hold it up to me. It probably fits."

I'm somewhere in the middle.  I don't like shopping but will go if I have to. I'll try clothes on in two or three stores and then I start to lose energy and enthusiasm.

For the past many years I've been wearing the same makeup. When I run out, I just buy the exact same thing. I knew it was time for something new, so when D26 and I were on a trip to Tokyo in April, I threw out my almost worn out eyeshadow and vowed to buy something new when I got home.

Then I procrastinated. I don't want to shop for makeup. Since I'm retired and don't go out much, I got away with it. But I have D26's graduation this week and a birthday celebration next week so today I decided to buy makeup. And I went to Sephora for the first time.  Oh My Gosh.  So much make up.

I texted my girls.

And that's when I made the self-reg connection.  One finds shopping stressful; one finds it pleasurable.

At this point, I decide to reduce my stress by narrowing the selection down to one brand, Sephora, and finding a salesperson to help me.  While she's talking to me, my cell phone is constantly pinging as D28 excitedly texts me with suggestions.  If she didn't work so many hours, I definitely would have brought her with me. Luckily the salesperson was very sweet and helpful.  In my head, I'm convinced she was thinking, "It's just eye shadow. Pick one already. You're still going to look old." But she patiently showed me about six different shades, all on her hand. I'm not going to wear it on my hand, but I didn't want to seem ungrateful so I just kept nodding.

This is probably the highlight of D28's day or at least a fun break from work.  I chose two fairly neutral colours (Romantic Comedy and Lucky Penny, FYI), paid for my purchase and got out. I guess this counts as a successful shopping trip. I didn't walk out and leave the store empty-handed. I got what I needed. But this is definitely more stress than fun for me. Next time, I'll just send D28 to shop for me. She'll love it! 

As teachers, we need to consider that what is fun for one student may be stressful for others - gym class, assemblies, field trips, special events.  If someone complains that the noise level is too loud and it is creating stress for them, then it is creating stress for them even if you may find the noise level not a stress at all.  Each of us is unique and our stressors are unique too.  

This is then further complicated by the reality that what is stressful one day when we have a lot of other stressors in our lives, may not be stressful on another day and vice versa.  As a parent or a teacher, this can be frustrating when what was an enjoyable activity one day is now stressful another day. Going back to my Sephora shopping trip, if I had already had to deal with a number of stressors on the day of my shopping trip, I would have probably just walked out of the store and had to return another day.