Reframing Resistance

There are times when we are excited to share a new idea – something we have read or heard about at a workshop – and our colleagues are not interested.  As a consultant, part of my job was to present research-based best practices from the ministry to educators and administrators.  While I might be really enthusiastic about these new resources and new ideas, reaction from educators and administrators could vary from excited to lukewarm to  downright hostile. 

A colleague once gave me this perspective on participants who push back and challenge us: she said these are the people who are on the cusp of change.  They are experiencing some cognitive dissonance and discomfort.  They realize that they should change their practice.  When they push back and challenge us, they are saying, "Convince me.  I know I need to change but change is going to be difficult and uncomfortable, and it would be so much easier to just keep doing what I'm doing.  Convince me." Now I love it when people challenge me, and question me, because I know they are really grappling with the ideas and trying to develop and deepen their own understanding.  They are actively constructing knowledge, not merely acting as a passive recipient.  As an educator, I view myself as a constructivist, so these challenging questions to me are indicators of growth and learning. 

In self-reg we talk about reframing behaviour – is this misbehaviour or stress behaviour?  As a presenter, I can use this same strategy to reframe the behaviour of participants at a session.  Is it really hostility or is it is stress?  Stephen Porgues talks about the need to feel safe in order to learn - how do we create an environment that fosters a sense of safety?  

Now when I encounter someone who appears resistant, I want to try even more to approach them with a self-reg lens.  Who knows what stressors they may have been dealing with before they arrived at the session - an elderly parent at home, an angry parent at school, a traffic jam, an upsetting conversation awaiting them at home that evening. I need to think about where they are on the Thayer Matrix and where I am, and question whether we are ready to engage in the work of learning and facilitating. If not, what do I need to do to create movement on the matrix? How can we help to reduce stressors - providing food and drinks, allowing opportunities for movement and discussion, ensuring the room is a comfortable temperature, etc. Allowing people to ask questions, to challenge us, and to respond with respect and kindness.  If participants need to leave to check in with their school via cell phone to ensure all is well, then providing opportunities to do so.

What other strategies can create a safe learning environment for teachers and for students?

Rethinking Privilege Through A Self-Reg Lens

Growing up, I was taught the moral lessons that have been part of society since the Victorian era:

If you work hard, then you will succeed.

If you set your mind to it, you can do anything.

If you don't succeed, then you have no one but yourself to blame.

It was very much an individualistic, self-control paradigm and I realize now, horribly wrong.  Because some people, through good luck, or karma or whatever, have a huge head start in life. And some people, quite frankly,  seem to succeed without really having to work very much at all. This video illustrates the point beautifully:

The facilitator tells a large group of teens and young adults assembled at a starting line that they will be having a footrace and whoever reaches the finish line first will win $100.  But before they begin he makes a few statements:

If you have never had to work to help your family pay the bills, take two steps forward...

If you have never had to worry about having your cell phone shut off because the bill isn't paid, take two steps forward

If you had access to a tutor, take two steps forward....

and so on.  By the time the race is ready to begin, some participants are almost at the finish line and others have not moved at all. 

Then he makes what I think is the most powerful statement and the one that really connects with the whole self-control idea that 'you are the master of your own destiny.  If you are a failure, no one but yourself to blame.'

He says, "Every statement I have made has nothing to do with anything you have done or any decision you have made."

Some people in the race have a huge head start, not because of their amazing willpower and self-control, but just because of the hand that life or fate has dealt them.  And others, through no fault of their own, are still standing back at the starting line, with no hope of winning.  

While this is billed as an exercise in privilege, it is also an exercise to rethink and reframe our ideas and our beliefs about the importance of self-control and self-regulation.  From a self-regulation lens, think of the countless stressors in multiple domains that are present and have been present in those teenagers lives. How can we as caring supportive adults help them to reduce those stressors that are not a result of their actions or decisions but yet are having a profound impact on their lives and their futures?

One Word Challenge 2018

The One Word Challenge is based on a book by motivational expert Jon Gordon called One Word That Will Change Your Life.    The premise of the book is that most people give up on their New Year's Resolutions by the end of January.  By focusing on just one word and remembering WHY you chose that word, you are more likely to stick to your resolution.  Here's a brief video of Jon Gordon explaining the idea behind One Word That Will Change Everything.

Last year, my one word was originally ‘yes’ but then I realized that there was power in saying ‘no’ as well.  After some consideration, I changed my One Word for 2017 to ‘stretch.’  As a recent retiree I wanted to stretch myself out of my comfort zone, try new things and take on new challenges. It was a great year and I can honestly say that I feel like I did stretch myself both personally and professionally. 

Personally, my hubby and I sold our home in Walkerville, Ontario and moved to our dream home out in the country on Lake Erie.  Leaving the walkable neighbourhood I’d lived in for the past 12 years definitely pushed me way out of my comfort zone but it was so worth it.  Now I wake up each morning and check on the lake – is it rough or calm, and watch the birds at the feeder and in the neighbourhood – blue jays, cardinals, chickadees, juncos, cranes, herons, ducks and geese while I drink my morning tea.

Professionally, I submitted a book proposal to Corwin Press which was accepted.  That meant I actually had to write the book and then revise it based on feedback from 12 different peer reviewers. I submitted the final draft of the manuscript just before Christmas.  What a rush!

For the past year and a half, in addition to working on my doctorate I have been taking courses on self-regulation from the MEHRIT Centre. That learning has influenced my choice for One Word 2018.  This year, with each choice I make both personally and professionally, I intend to reflect on whether this choice will contribute to my physical and mental well-being.

As a retiree, there is no reason not to get to the gym or outside for some exercise on a regular basis. When I choose to stay home and lounge on the couch, I need to make sure that I am making a mindful choice. Is this relaxation what I need right now for my well-being or would my well-being be better served by getting up and getting some exercise?

Most Read Blog Posts of 2017

Blogging is a great way to reflect and share my learning about education, self-regulation and other topics. Putting my ideas out there into the world wide web is a bit unnerving - will anyone read this? Will anyone respond? Will my thinking resonate with someone? Will it cause them to rethink or reflect on their own practice?

My main goal is not to generate a huge readership for the blog. I like to use writing as a way to think my way through things and decided why not share my wonderings and writings.  But it is gratifying to see the readership numbers grow when a post really resonates for some reason. So thank you to everyone who took a moment to read my blog posts and especially to those who responded.

My top three most-read posts for 2017 were:


3. Kindergarten Graduation Alternatives  It's interesting to me that this post was so widely read when it probably has a very narrow audience of kindergarten teachers and ECEs.  I shared several research articles about why kindergarten graduation is not developmentally appropriate and provided a range of alternatives that are more child-friendly. I'm not saying don't celebrate the end of the school year, but let's find a way to do it that is appropriate for five year olds.
Feedback on this post was divided.  Some people were so thankful to have research and ideas to share with their colleagues and administrators to help them in their quest to move on from kindergarten graduation ceremonies.  And others shared their belief that kindergarten graduation is something that parents and administrators expect and enjoy. That conversation took place as responses to my post of this blog on Facebook in the Ontario Kindergarten Teachers group so it wasn't captured on the blog.

2. Self-regulation: Not just for kids So much of what I read about self-regulation talks about how teachers and parents can help to teach students/children how to use self-regulation.  But what I've found is that learning more about self-regulation has changed my own behaviour and my understanding of those days when my self-control seems to have deserted me.  In this post, I shared an example of how my husband lent me his calm when I was too overwhelmed by stressors during a very long trip.  I had so many responses to this post that I wrote a follow-up post that generated just as much traffic.  If I combined the two posts, they would be my most read topic.

And the most read post of 2017 on the Opening Doors for Learning blog:
1. ETFO Kindergarten Conference - April 2017. I used Storify to summarize and share two days of fantastic learning at the ETFO Kindergarten Conference in Niagara Falls. I was sad when I got an email just a few weeks ago, letting me know that Storify is no longer going to be available after the May 2018.    Time to find a new strategy. What are you going to be using instead of Storify in the future?

Happy 2018 to everyone!  Thanks again for reading these posts, responding, sharing, retweeting and letting me know that you're out there!

Image from PRpeople.blog

A Memory Jar Project for Home & School

Last year I saw this idea for a memory jar around New Year's Eve on several sites on the internet and all over pinterest.  The idea is that you start the new year with an empty jar. Each week you add a note about something good that happened and on New Year's Eve you empty the jar and read all the notes. I shared it with my husband, who wondered, "Why would you need a jar to remember what happened?"  Then life got busy, and I wished I had started my jar but I never did.

And so many wonderful things have happened this year. Big things - we sold our home, we moved to our dream home on the lake, my eldest graduated from university, moved home and quickly found a full time job in her field, my dad moved to a retirement home that he loves, my youngest ran with my hubby and I in her first half marathon.  Lots of little things, too. Seeing a bald eagle swoop over our yard as we sat outside eating dinner. Campfires. Going for a run on a day that was just perfect - not too hot, not too cold.

As a teacher, I was thinking this would also be a great project to do with a class. Although it might be better to start in September, it would still be a good project to start for the new year.  Each week students could brainstorm what ideas they want to add to the class memory jar. I think it would be interesting to see what events they would select as being 'most important.'  Then at the end of the year, you could review all the entries in the jar as a class. Some students might even be inspired to start a memory jar at home with their family. Perhaps all the notes could be scanned at the end of the year and a copy sent home with the students. Or perhaps each child could have their own jar (or maybe some other container) to create their own personal memory jar.

This year, I'm going to go ahead and start 2018 with an empty jar and add notes each week. I've already selected an antique mason jar from my Granddad's collection and placed it on the bookshelf in the living room where I will see it every day. Some weeks I may forget and not add anything.  Some weeks I may add more than one.  Maybe my husband will add a note or two of his own!  And next new year's eve, we'll read them all. Afterwards, I might just keep them in the jar or place them in an envelope and start a collection for each year.

For more ideas and information on Memory Jars:
Printables for your New Year's Jar
Make and Do Crew
The Suburban Mom
Datingdivas


I don't have a photo credits  as the same photos have been used on so many sites I am not sure who the original credit belongs to.

The Power of Words

Words allow us to communicate our thoughts and ideas with others, to question, to clarify, to explore, to wonder, to inform, to elaborate. Words can be used for poetry, for debate, for conversations and for arguments.  Words have power.

As I was scrolling through Twitter this morning, I read the news that Trump has banned the CDC from using seven words in any upcoming briefs for the budget.  WHAT???? This must be fake news. But it's not.  More and more I am reminded of Orwell's 1984 when I read and hear the news from the USA. In the novel, all the residents of Oceania are to speak "Newspeak."  The purpose of Newspeak is to ensure that everything that everyone says aligns with the ideas of the government.

’Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten. […] Every year fewer and fewer words, and the range of consciousness always a little smaller. Even now, of course, there’s no reason or excuse for committing thoughtcrime. It’s merely a question of self-discipline, reality-control. But in the end there won’t be any need even for that. […] In fact there will be no thought, as we understand it now. Orthodoxy means not thinking – not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.[ 1984, pp. 45-6]

According to the Washington Post, Trump's seven banned words are:

vulnerable
entitled
trangender
fetus
science-based

evidence-based

diversity

Why?  Why these words? What is is that these words represent that is so repellent that the CDC may no longer use them. Dr. Loren Schechter, director of the Centre for Gender Confirmation surgery at Weiss Memorial Hospital in Chicago was quoted as saying "I'm not sure what the ultimate rationale is for doing this aside from trying to erase certain types of people off the map," commenting specifically on the ban on the words "transgender" and "diversity." Rep. Don Beyer tweeted that "black women have a maternal mortality rate 300% higher than white women and Hispanics are 50% more likely to die from diabetes than whites. Banning the CDC from discussing diversity isn't just wrong. It's dangerous."

At one point in 1984, Winston understands the how of language control, but not the why.  O'Brien explains: 

“The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power. […] Power it not a means, it is an end.” [ p. 211]

It will be interesting to see what the response will be to this announcement - from educators, journalists, and those who value free speech.  Some tweets so far (#CDC):

Resources:

Manipulation of language as a weapon of mind control and abuse of power in 1984

Newsweek: Donald Trump bans CDC from using these seven words

Huffington Post

CliffsNotes on 1984 - Summary, Themes, Characters